It’s easy to go through day-to-day events without stopping to ask yourself, “Is this good for me? Is this what I want/need?”. However, putting yourself first and honoring your wishes is the first step in a fulfilling and contented life, and it is not selfish.
Your loved one’s needs often come first, which is understandable. And though finding a way to be ok with YOU in the middle of whatever that looks like can be a challenge, paramount. It gives you footing when the situation changes, and it will.
See if this sounds familiar….. You’re going along with your days, working and caring for your loved one, and though there are a few ups and downs, things seem to be ok (even in the middle of not being ok at all), and then one day, it all seems to derail. How you thought things were going isn’t the case anymore. Whether the doctor’s office called and said that they misread the diagnosis or perhaps your family comes to you and tells you, you’re just not doing things the way they’d like to see them going.
I’m sorry, what? Boom! In that very instance, your world is upside down. You find yourself in such a frozen state that either you respond abruptly or cower inward to self-defeat.
Are there situations in your life (caregiving or not) where you wish you would have spoken your truth? Stopped long enough to think about what would happen if you disagreed or questioned the moment? Wishing you had taken a bit more time to reassess how you wanted to do things; If only I had….I wish….I should have.
Decisions can become more difficult as your caregiving days happen, and reactions become impulsive because you’re tired and have neglected your self-care. Honestly, the most important person in the world is yourself. It’s easy enough to get swept up in helping others or doing things for them that make them happy. That’s all wonderful! As long as you don’t put yourself into the backseat and neglect your needs where the cycle begins yet again. If only I had….I wish….I should have.
You have the power to make a change within yourself. The rest is out of your control. Change your thinking change your life. Stop looking in the rearview mirror of regrets. Journal your thoughts, fears, hopes, and dreams, and start making a change within yourself and how you think and feel, and take charge of YOU.
Peaceful hugs,
Cyndi Mariner
Breathing Spaces
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